What Is It With New SUVs With Stupid Names And Horrible Designs?

The SUV as a concept has been around a long time. Range Rover invented it and still makes the best one, with the best name, but some newcomers look daft and have awful names.

Range Rover Evoque convertible (photoshop)

A pure SUV remains a reasonably sensible car but generally one that is compromised if it isn't actually used off road, although for sheer presence as well as cruising capability, refinement and luxury the Range Rover still beats an S-Class, A8, 7-Series or even XJ.

What was once a niche is now mainstream and has spliced into various niches - the crossover is not quite SUV/not quite car but a combination of the two. I'm tended not to like the concept but a) I'm buying one (a Volvo XC60) and b) the Porsche Macan is a crossover and it's brilliant.

The SUV coupe is an SUV with a fastback rear end and is thoroughly horrible. They drive well enough but the very idea is just wrong. Car enthusiasts with taste hate them but rich, tasteless customers buy them in their droves - along with chunky gold jewellery, bejewelled bum bags (fanny packs if you're American) and white trousers.

And then we come to the SUV convertible and the forthcoming Range Rover Evoque cabriolet. Oh dear me. The Evoque is a tidy little car, I'd have leased one but the XC60 deals were much cheaper, but as a cabriolet? No way, Hosé.

Just recently a splurge of SUVs have been announced and each one has something stupid about it.

A Bentley SUV was always going to be inevitable and its looks were always going to be big, brash, brazen and not exactly subtle but why, oh why has Bentley called it the Bentayga? (They have, it's official). It takes only a little imagination and the mind of a child (99% of the male population) to work out the unfortunate anagrams available from Bentayga. The pic, by the way, is a photoshop but a pretty accurate one.

Bentley Bentayga - photoshop

Maserati has given its new SUV a pretty stupid name too - it's called the Levante. Levante is East in Spanish - really, Maserati? It will be based on the Kubang concept, which was a nasty looking SUV/crossover/coupe.

Maserati Kubang concept

Jaguar's crossover is called the F-Pace. It looks great but what the hell is that name all about?

And then we get the the grand-daddy of stupid SUVs, the BMW X6, an idiotic leviathan of a thing that has spawned both the horrible X4 and the dreadful Mercedes-Benz GLE Coupé.

Mercedes-Benz GLE Coupé - this is a press photo, not a photoshop

Hyundai has also joined the fray. At the Detroit Motor Show they've just revealed the Santa Cruz, a five seat SUV pickup. Yep, another niche.

Hyundai Santa Cruz concept

Amidst all this stupid nomenclature, obnoxious design and general buffoonery Volvo flies the flag for sensible naming and classy lines. Thank goodness for that. The new XC90 is fab. Well done, Volvo.

2015 Volvo XC90

By Matt Hubbard

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10 Motoring Anniversaries in 2014

The current year has certainly been buzzing with anniversaries from the motoring world. Seemingly every other day, a manufacturer has inflated the party balloons, wrapped the presents and indulged in too much birthday cake. Gather round, light the candles and get ready to sing, for here is a list of ten vehicles and manufacturers celebrating an anniversary in 2014.

Vauxhall VXR - 10 Years

Vauxhall's VXR range has become synonymous with epic performance and giant slaying capabilities. The Australian Commodore badge engineered Monaro became the stuff of legends, outperforming many major German premium offerings. All of this began in 2004 though, with the upgraded Vauxhall VX220, the VXR220. Ever since, the UK has been offered the likes of the Astra VXR, Corsa VXR, Zafira VXR, Insignia VXR, Vectra VXR, Monaro VXR and the VXR8 to list a few. An exciting future still lies ahead for the Vauxhall brand.

Mazda MX5 - 25 Years

Mazda's MX5 has always enjoyed affection from the motoring press and owners alike. Providing superb handling at a relative bargain, the little Japanese sports car has definitely made a hefty impact on our shores. Launched back in 1989, the cute little sports car caught the world's imagination with the inclusion of quirky pop-up headlights, amongst other traits. Many would go so far as proclaim the MX5 as providing the thrills of a true British sports car.

Land Rover Discovery - 25 Years

Also born in 1989 was a best-seller from Land Rover. Originally based on the contemporary Range Rover, albeit at a lower spec and price, the Discovery was designed to compete with many Japanese offerings at the time; i.e the Mitsubishi Shogun/Pajero. Ever since though, the Discovery has sold tremendously worldwide and became one of the best off-roaders that money could buy. The modern equivalent appears increasingly upmarket as the years progressed, however be sure that the current ownership will take this model to new and greater heights.

Seat Ibiza - 25 Years

Quite frankly, the saviour for the Seat brand, who had previously only really offered rebadged Fiat technology. The Seat Ibiza sold strongly due to its Porsche engineered engine. Originally a unit destined for the Volkswagen Golf, the brand was coincidentally later commandeered by the Volkswagen Group. Hence all future models were based upon the contemporary Polo. Ever since, the Ibiza has become Seat's best-selling model, vaguely keeping the Spanish Catalan state afloat financially. Cupra models have continued to excite the motoring world throughout each generation, leaving high hopes for the brand's future.

Peugeot GTI - 30 Years

In 1984, Peugeot created a monster. One of the pioneers of the traditional hot hatch was born, and what a marvellous piece of technology it was. Even 30 years on, teenagers still lust after an original 205 GTI on equal levels to the rivalling Golf GTI. Peugeot had a few greatest hits with the 309 GTI and 106 GTI. For years though, the GTI label has remained little more than a trim level, with lacklustre offerings in the form of the 206 and 207 GTI. Worry not, for the spirit is back with the 208 GTI, which finally handles like a true Peugeot GTI should.

Mitsubishi - 40 Years

Believe it or not, the Mitsubishi brand has existed in the UK now for 40 years. With such famous models as the Colt, Galant, Shogun/Pajero and Lancer, Britain has received the Japanese brand well. Most associate the brand with the Lancer Evo series, which took the rally driving scene by storm with its heated rival, the Subaru Impreza.

Ssangyong - 60 Years

The Korean brand which no one seems to know how to pronounce is now 60 years old. Launched in 1954, the brand manufactured army jeeps and trucks for many years. British consumers only became aware of the brand in the early 90's, following a partnership with Daimler-Benz which created the Ssangyong Musso. Ever since, the brand has earned a reputation for quite questionable styling. Despite the obscure offerings, the brand continues to grow and offers competitive off-road and MPV vehicles.

MG - 90 Years

Of course, MG may not have existed for much of the past decade, however the lads at Longbridge are thrilled to celebrate their 90th anniversary. Following the brand's resurrection, the amount of dealerships is ever-expanding. The brand's history, although rocky at times, is one of the most colourful in the history of British motoring. Many Brits remember fondly the MGB, MGF, MG Metro, MG Maestro, MG ZT and various other offerings. Although current offerings lack the passion of the past, we can only wish the best for the future of the Chinese owned British car manufacturer.

Bentley - 95 Years

One of the best luxury car manufacturers in the world is now celebrating its 95th birthday. In 2013, one in every four luxury cars delivered was a Bentley, impressive despite the limitations of handmade methods of manufacturing. Bentley cars have established themselves firmly throughout history. Bentley models were used as off-road vehicles during World War One, as well as other winning multiple 24 Hour Le Mans races and amongst the ownership of the world's most rich and famous. Since ownership was earned by the Volkswagen Group, sales have risen from strength to ever-growing strength. Expect even bigger things for the Bentley brand

Maserati - 100 Years

Not often in the motoring world do we experience a centenary celebration. But when we do, little more can top the history of the Maserati brand. Started in 1914 by three brothers; Alfieri, Ettore and Ernesto, the story began with the First World War. As luxury racers became their pedigree, the brand became synonymous with providing only the best combination of performance and luxury.

By Mike Armstrong

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Bentley Continental GT3-R - #Goodwood #FOS

The Bentley Continental GT3 was one of the stars at the 2013 Goodwood Festival of Speed. It was also the best looking Continental ever, until now.  

The new Bentley Continental GT3-R was inspired by its racer sibling and Bentley seems to have pulled a masterstroke. It looks awesome.

The bonnet vents, carbon fibre wing, gloss black details, forged alloy wheels and Glacier White paint with two tone green decals all serve to make it a stunner.

Under the skin the GT3-R gets a retuned version of the 4-litre twin-turbo V8 that produces 572bhp and 700Nm/516lb ft of torque.

This is enough for 0-60mph in 3.6 seconds and a limited top speed of 170mph.

Torque vectoring, air springs and dampers and Carbon Silicon Carbide with 420mm discs and 8-pot callipers make this the fastest and most track focussed road-going Bentley to date.  Mind you it's impossible to escape the big Bentley's 2,195kg kerb weight.

The price will be revealed at its Goodwood FoS launch.  If you want one you'd better get in quickly as only 300 are being made.

By Matt Hubbard

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Bentley Continental GTC W12 Review

Colin Hubbard spends a Day with a Bentley Continental GTC W12

When VW bought Bentley they did nothing for a year.  They watched and soaked up what made the brand, what its customers expect and they looked at ways they could retain the heritage but have the ability to make more cars and at a higher quality but without losing the handmade factor and feel which its owners expect.

The first car under the VW ownership was the Continental GT which was released with a rather untraditional W12 engine and four wheel drive, and sought to attract younger buyers. The car has turned Bentley into a global brand and has been a storming success, especially with the football fraternity including both the players and their WAGS.

This is the second generation Continental and was released in 201. Rather than being mildly facelifted it was completely remodelled with all new panels. It retained the original Bentley look, featuring a crease from the front wing through the door handle into the rear quarter panel, and two third body with one third window line but with sculptured rear haunches and aggressive body surfacing.

The car still shares a platform with the VW Phaeton but that’s not a bad thing as it’s hidden underneath some gorgeous bodywork and means that it’s properly engineered but can keep the production costs down and the production numbers up.

The colour of the test car was Neptune Blue which was finished with a navy hood and 21 inch ‘Elegant’ alloy wheels. At first I wasn’t so sure the colour worked, it’s not a traditional colour and I would have specced a British Racing Green or Royal Blue.  It reminded me of the colour of an old Mondeo but after a day with it my mind was changed and I agreed with everyone who experienced the car who said it showed off the shape and gave it an air of opulence.

On the inside the ‘Linen’ hide with secondary ‘Imperial Blue’ hide and ‘Burr Walnut’ veneer was again a choice I would not have opted for.  I think a cream leather and body coloured piping would go down a treat but as with the paint colour it grew on me through the day and those who saw it loved it.

One thing that instantly hit me on the inside is the outstanding design language and quality of the materials and installation. Every section of leather was supple and flawless in finish, including the long sections on the doors and every stitch in line with the next - demonstrating that Bentley craftsmanship through the cabin. This may be a mass produced car but the parts that matter which you touch, feel and smell every day are crafted by men's (and women's) bare hands, not some nameless robot.

The W12 engine starts with a metal key, yes one of those things that you have to actually insert into a hole and turn (I trust Bentley didn’t want to alienate the traditionals who like the feel and action of a proper key).

The engine is a W12 which is a development of the VR (narrow angle) V6 units found in various VW products, but it’s two stuck together with a shared crank - hence the W in its title. Add two turbos and you have sufficient power to pull the skin off an acre of rice pudding.

Twist the key and the ginormous 6 litre engine rumbles into life and settles to a well insulated beat, quiet enough but you’re still aware it’s there and ready for action. Gears are selected via a standard auto stick which can also be slid to the left and used to manually select the gears or by paddles on the steering column.

Just a tickle of the throttle is all that’s needed to get going and you instantly feel the size of the car when on public roads.

After a 30 minute drive on twisty and narrow country roads I pull over and dropped the hood - well it would be rude not to. It takes 25 seconds to perform the operation which is quite a task as it’s a fair size hood so needs to fold up and over and back on itself to get toward the rear of the car. It’s not helped by the amount of insulation and lining the hood has been stuffed with to keep the cabin not just insulated from road noise but from the elements.

With the hood down I noticed a fair amount of scuttle shake on Cheshire's country roads - the rear view mirror vibrates when the body is subject to torsional road forces.

When the road opens up a little I had my first chance at full throttle and pinned the accelerator deep into the lamb wool overmats.  The gearbox dropped 2 ratios and the big lump instantly exploded, proving it’s capable of serious acceleration.

The engine is muted whilst tickling the throttle but at full power it’s like nothing I have ever heard before. Being effectively 2 staggered V6s with a shared crank the 12 pistons are firing at different times, directions and angles so it doesn’t have a V8 burble, more a pair of speedboat engines.

The paddles don’t help progress as they are too far from the wheel so I rely on the Bentley brain to pick my cogs from the ZF 8 speed box and found it to be pleasantly judged, topping up gears when acceleration is not needed and in sport mode quickly dropping down to give access to the power at higher revs. Not that it needs to drop down very much as peak torque is developed at just 1700 rpm.

I suspect the paddle positioning is a half hearted affair as the majority of owners won't use them.  They haven’t bought a Bentley to race around in but to waft in lambswool and leather.

Sport mode is selected by pressing the button on top of the gearshift and pulling back.  This prevents sport being selected by accident just the same way that reverse is selected but in the opposite direction. Sport makes the engine edgy, holding onto gears longer and revs to the red line when pushed.  It’s no ballerina but it’s a confident mover which you can hustle along with vigour. This gives the brakes a workout, in this instance carbon ceramic disks with 6 pot front and 4 pot rear callipers.

Theres no doubting the brakes performance, they diminish the speed of the big beast extremely well but the feel is a little binary. An initial application of the left pedal and you can just about feel the friction on the disks but then press some more and there’s sudden massive grip on the disks which is out of character with the car. Be in no doubt there’s zero fade but they can’t compete with steel discs for feel.

Fortunately the chassis shines through.  It's equipped with air springs and magnetorheological dampers as standard so you can cruise in comfort or press the sport button for a more confident set up. With time the chassis inspires confidence, being supple but secure especially when that big 12 is on boost, and even in sport mode speed bumps can be taken at 30mph with no crashiness, you just feel the height of the car change

Part of the suppleness is down to the 21 inch wheels with Pirelli 275/35/21 tyres. These huge tyres ride over bumps easily but as a consequence they are heavy and offer no steering feedback. In the corners, particularly the tighter ones where you throw the car through, it squirms as the weight overwhelms the tyres. Accelerate hard out of a junction and the rear wheels grapple for traction - the drive is split 60% rear and 40% front.

At lunchtime I pick up the wife and in-laws to get an opinion on riding in the back of a 4 seater convertible. There’s sufficient space for adults for a short journey but it's quite blowy with the top down, so a hat's essential. The good news is that the front part of the cabin is spacious and riding with the hood down is a joy and not too blowy.

The front seats are not sporty - with little lateral support - but sufficient for a bit of hooliganism and they look superb with their fixed, padded headrests. The leather is top class.

The burr walnut dash and console are flawless and meld with the 21st century gadgets.  I loved the pulls for the air vents. The steering wheel is hand stitched and a joy to hold with a slightly fatter rim than Bentleys of old.

Sitting in pride of place at the top of the dash is a Breitling timepiece.  The Swiss watchmaker also helped design the technical instruments. Another partner is the high end audio maker Naim and this car was equipped with a 1100 watt amp and 14 speakers. The sound is truly spectacular - there’s no outstanding element, it wasn’t over bassed or screechy high ended, just loud and crystal clear.

As standard the GTC comes well equipped so elements like assisted soft door closing (useful as the doors are massive!) and electric boot opening (both up and down) adds to the Bentleyness. A small feature which is well thought through was a rear courtesy light set in the Alcantara trimmed convertible hood. This is overlooked on every other convertible I have been in.

As VW owns Bentley there’s some shared componentry in order to save costs but the only evidence I saw was the CD changer in the glove which looks identical to the one in my old Golf.

There are two bad points with the car.  The first is a booming noise when you back off the throttle in sport mode when the hood is down. The other one can’t be fixed and that’s jealously from other drivers, which I experienced firsthand.  A taxi pulled out of a junction in front of me, I gave him a flash of the lights to signal my annoyance and was met with every offensive hand signal I know.

The Continental is a true GT car and would be a worthy companion for a trip across France.  It's not a sports car like a Ferrari or Porsche, but set up for cossetting and pampering the occupants and genuinely capable of travelling very very fast. It is capable of reaching 100 miles per hour in 10.3 seconds, which is unheard of for a 2.5 tonnes car, and I found it goads you on, almost willing you to go faster. It makes every journey an event and for every jealous motorist theres a dozen who love it, showing their appreciation with a stare, a finger point or a smile.

It was a big risk for Bentley, making a mass produced car but they struck gold with this.  It’s been an outstanding success and worthy of the Winged B on the head of the bonnet. The craftsmanship shines throughout the cabin with the fit, finish and materials outstanding and representing Bentley down a T.

The Bentley Continental is British Engineering at the top of it’s game.

Stats

Price - £153,500 (£181,370 as tested)
Engine - 6 litre, W12 Twin Turbo, petrol
Transmission - 8 speed ZF Auto
0-60mph - 4.4 seconds
Top speed - 195 mph
Power - 567 bhp at 6000rpm
Torque - 516 lb ft at 1700rpm
Economy - 19 mpg combined
CO2 - 347 g/km
Kerb weight - 2495 kg

Review by Colin Hubbard

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Speedmonkey Is Driving This Bentley Right Now

My cohort, Colin, has had this Bentley Continental for the day.  He's covered most of Cheshire in it.  Full review soon.

To my eye it looks better as a convertible than coupe.  Lovely colour too.

Matt

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Is This "Empire" Bentley Brilliant Or Tacky?

This 1990 Bentley Mulsanne S has been airbrushed by its artist owner Paul Karslake, with various scenes representing Britishness.  

The car includes portraits of HM Queen Elizabeth II, Nelson, Wellington and Sir Winston Churchill.  It also carries scenes from the Battle of Britain, the Falklands War, Waterloo and Trafalgar.

The owner is selling his Bentley at the forthcoming 'Historics' auction at Mercedes-Benz world on 30 November.  He hopes to get £10,000 for it.

It would certainly make for a spectacle on the annual British pilgrimage to the 24 Hours of Le Mans, if you could get it through the French customs, who might say: "Swines britanniques effrontés, permet de les soumettre à une fouille complète de la cavité"

What do you think of the 'Empire' Bentley, brilliantly British or tacky as hell?

Article by Matt Hubbard

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Bentley Continental GT Speed W12 short review

Matt Hubbard reviews the Bentley Continental GT Speed W12

Why a short review?  Because I only drove it for half an hour or so, and because we'll be testing a GT Speed for a full day soon.  So this is but a flavour of what to expect.

It'll be a different viewpoint too.  My colleague, Colin, will be taking delivery of a GT Speed direct from the factory in Crewe and testing it on some of Cheshire's finest roads, whereas I was stuck on a pre-ordained 15 mile route in Hampshire.

Enough of that.  The GT Speed costs £151,500, has 616bhp and weighs 2.3 tonnes.  OK, that'll be interesting, it's big, fast, posh and pricey.

The Continental's shape, and to be honest any car shape, is a subjective matter.  I've never been particularly blown away by it.  Resolutely a coupe with a long slow rake down from the roof to the top of the boot, the strong haunches and lines are well defined and present a clean, uncluttered shape.

But I could never overlook the almost unfinished look to the boot, and the bulk of it's lower aspect.  The curves over the wheels do their best to disguise bulk but the Rolls Royce Wraith seems to be a more successful solution to a similar problem - that of needing to house a gigantic engine and to provide presence.

To be honest it would help if it wasn't painted in silver.  The palette available is vast and Burnt Orange, Dragon Red, British Racing Green 4 (yes, 4) and Moroccan Blue present the car in a much better light.

The interior is sublime.  Where it is possible to place leather there is leather.  I loved the dials and I loved the little pull handles to work the air vents.

The touchscreen is easy to use.  It controls quite a few functions which means the cabin is uncluttered and where there are dials, switches and knobs they are fantastically smooth to use, and feel just as they should in a Bentley.

Just ahead of the leather armrest is a sunglasses holder.  I've never seen this in a car before but it's brilliantly conceived.  Every car I drive I shove my sunglasses case in the door pocket, and then because the hinge is broken it falls open and whatever glasses are in it get covered in whatever other rubbish goes in the pocket.  Lovely stuff, Bentley.

The seats are very, very comfortable and the driving position is just right.  The rear seats, however, are small.  Not the seats themselves but the knee room on offer isn't up to much. I couldn't sit behind me, for example and I'm 5"10'.  This is slightly disappointing.

Fire up the engine (with a real key) and take off.

So far I had yet to find the Continental's USP.  A Jaguar or Range Rover can be as luxurious inside, and just as fast, an S Class can provide more gadgetry and tech and a Maserati feels more special.

It is on the road where we discover what makes the case for the Bentley.  Silence.  Eery, dead quiet, silence.  The engine is silent, road noise is almost entirely eliminated.  It is quite weird.

An S Class is silent, but not quite in the same way.  In our modern, busy lives we rarely encounter absolute silence.  This is the kind of silence one would imagine can be found in a soundproofed music studio with no electrics humming away in the background.

The engine provides for lots of power.  As well as 616bhp you get 590 lb ft of torque, which is transferred to the road via a ZF 8-speed transmission and 4 wheel drive.

One doesn't do rolling round corners in a Bentley, dear.  And one doesn't do wheelspinning or any of that vulgar nonsense.  One glides, effortlessly.  Isn't it super.

Wet Hampshire A-roads are no substitute for the autobahn though.  I'd love to take the GT Speed through France, Belgium, Holland and into the Mutterland for a wiener schnitzel and fries, then turn around and head back to Blighty.  Just for the sheer hell of doing it, and playing with the vent controls.

My only gripe with the GT Speed, aside from the silver paint job, is that I failed to find it special enough.  It costs £151,500.  For that money you could buy a handful of cars which perform the task (of being fast, special, comfortable and ridiculously show-offy) just as well, if not better.

Were it my money I would probably prefer a Maserati GranTurismo Sport (£90k), a Range Rover (£98k), a Jaguar XFR-S (£80k) or XJR (£92k), Mercedes S-Class (£88k) or CLS (£82k).  Out of that lot the Maserati feels the most unique and special, even if it's not quite as fast or quiet as the GT Speed.

But what I would probably do is find some more cash and buy a Rolls Rolls Wraith, which costs £215k.

Article by Matt Hubbard

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Catch-up Corner - some stories from the week we missed

Graham King rounds up some of the week's motoring stories you might have missed

Thrust 2 broke the land speed record 30 years ago this week

Last Friday (4 October) marked the 30th anniversary of Thrust 2’s record-breaking 633.468mph run at Black Rock Desert in Nevada, USA. Driven by Richard Noble, the jet-powered car reached a top speed of 650.88mph, the record being the average speed of two timed runs completed within an hour. Noble re-claimed the record for the UK, which had been held by various Americans since 1964. Thrust 2 is now on display at the Coventry Transport Museum.

Noble went on to mastermind ThrustSSC, the first car to break the sound barrier, driven by Andy Green, achieving 763.035mph in 1997. Now, he is the driving force behind BloodhoundSSC, the jet- and rocket-propelled car that will hopefully become the first land-based vehicle to reach 1000mph.

Caterham Seven turns 40

It’s now 40 years since everybody’s favourite trackday weapon, the Caterham Seven, was launched. The car came into being when Surrey-based Lotus dealer Caterham Cars bought the manufacturing rights for the discontinued Lotus Seven, first seen in 1957. It was a logical step, as Caterham Cars had been responsible for keeping the Seven on sale since 1966, selling every single one that came out of the Lotus factory.

At least under the skin, today’s Sevens are very different from the first ones that rolled of out Caterham’s factory. But they look pretty much the same, and are conceptually exactly the same. Despite ever-increasing power outputs, the principle of back-to-basics thrills remains intact. And you still buy one in kit form.

They say life begins at 40, and with a well-moneyed owner, a Formula 1 team, the Aeroseven concept and an enticing tie-in with Renault’s Alpine brand, Caterham’s future is looking bright.

Jaguar and Bentley mine their design heritage

Jaguar has joined forces with design magazine Wallpaper* for an exhibition at Harrods in London. Jag’s designers have contributed various pieces to the Wallpaper* Handmade display. Apparently, the pieces translate Jaguar’s design language into other forms like a picnic basket and a pet transporter, whatever that is. An arguably more relevant display was parked up outside on opening night, as Jaguar gave the C-X17 crossover concept it’s UK debut.

Meanwhile, Bentley has launched a new range of furniture from its ‘Bentley Home’ merchandise collection. It includes a bed, chairs, tables and cupboards, all made from the same sorts of materials you would find in one of Bentley’s cars. They’re really classy too, although they’re sure to be fearsomely expensive. No doubt they’ll soon be found in every billionaire’s guest rooms - ‘The Bentley Room’ has a nice ring to it.

Article by Graham King

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